SAR is a process-oriented, structured group experience to promote participants’ awareness of their values, beliefs and attitudes on various issues in sexuality and to assist them in understanding how these attitudes and values affect them professionally and personally. The SAR experience involves viewing a series of videos and discussing reactions in a small group facilitated by an experienced sexuality educator.
What is a SAR?
Sexual Attitude Restructuring (SAR) was a creation of National Sex Forum in San Francisco back in the 1970s, and has become an integral part of training in sexuality in USA. It is being introduced into Singapore through certified sexologist, Martha Lee of Eros Coaching (www.eroscoaching.com).
SAR is a process-oriented, structured group experience to promote participants’ awareness of their values, beliefs and attitudes on various issues in sexuality, and to assist them in understanding how these attitudes and values affect them professionally and personally. Also an unusual opportunity for becoming more aware of one’s unexamined beliefs and for clarifying one’s values, SAR is neither a traditional academic experience designed to disseminate cognitive information, nor is it psychotherapy directed toward the resolution of personal problems. It is a powerful way to increase one’s sexuality comfort and change attitudes that may interfere with effective communication and teaching about sexuality.
Why is my attitude towards sexuality important?
Our attitudes express themselves through words and actions. Your attitude is an outward expression of who you are, rather than what you do or know. Attitude reflects behaviour: your attitude towards another determines the other’s attitude towards you. In short, your attitude determines outcome and the quality of the life you have. Have you examined what you stand for and why when it comes to sexuality? SAR allows you to do so!
What do you do at SAR?
The SAR experience involves viewing a series of videos and discussing reactions in a small group facilitated by an experienced sexuality educator. The workshop is designed to increase understanding of the wide spectrum of human sexual arousal and behavior. Topics to be explored include fantasy; sexual myths; masturbation; heterosexual, gay, lesbian and bisexual relationships; transgender; alternative relationships; disability and aging.
Who should attend SAR?
Anyone who wish to better understand their own sexuality and that of others, as well as for people who are working in the fields related to sex and sexuality should take a SAR. SAR provides innovative and practical information, training and skills necessary for more competent, sensitive, professional and personal functioning.
Dates: Sat and Sun, 16 and 17 March 2013
Time: 9a.m. to 5p.m.
Venue: To be announced to confirmed participants
Fee: S$350 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 8 – Max 15
For enquiries, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
“I attended Martha’s SAR workshop in 2012. It was very good and refreshing. Watching the different videos made me more accepting of myself and others by the end of the workshop. & from the workshop, I actually gained comfort that there were other people who felt the same way, and supported people with different sexual preferences and behaviours. It was very comfortable attending the workshop, and not that awkward. In particular, I liked the clip of people sharing their masturbation experiences openly. It was discussed openly and without shame in the video, which was intimate and informative. Also, it made me realize that it was normal for people to start masturbating at a young age, making me think that perhaps it was a natural behavior and something many people instinctively know what to do, but it’s sad that we are shameful of it. Overall, it really challenged my perspective, and it was a pleasure to learn positive information, instead of the more rampant judgments and commercial media which ultimately close us up, because it’s not authentic and loving. Thank you for conducting the workshop!!!” – YQ
“I have to say I knew not what to expect when I first attended SAR. I knew I was going to experience discomfort; but having known Martha for some time, I knew she made a wonderful facilitator; and I was correct. Martha made sure that the whole situation was as comfortable and guided as possible. SAR made me more open on my attitude towards sex. The various type of sex, the various preferences, and how all of such can actually be a calming, freeing experience.” – Male Participant
“I first attended SAR with a fair amount of resistance to the notion that it will be uncomfortable and weird to be viewing material with a group of strangers. However as the sessions proceeded, I found myself transformed through the process and the openness in discussion and sharing our views and perspectives definitely helped to challenge the various pre-conceived notions or pre-judgements that we have about certain things. Having gone through it, I do think that the process helps in broadening our perspectives and becoming more tolerant individuals capable of appreciating people for who they are and to see beyond stereotypes. Credit must go to Dr. Martha Lee for administering the process and for creating an environment where frank, honest discussion is possible.” – Male participant
For enquiries, please email email@example.com.
Flying in the face of this society’s extreme ageism, STILL DOING IT, the groundbreaking documentary, explores the lives of older women. Partnered, single, straight, gay, black and white, nine women express with startling honesty and humor how they feel about sex and love in later life. Outspoken for their generation, these women mark a sea change. Women over 65 are already the fastest growing segment of the population and when the Boomers turn 65 in 2011 those numbers will skyrocket. STILL DOING IT follows the lives of these sexual older women as well as this society’s complex relationship to aging with surprising and revelatory results.
The website for the documentary is here.
Greatest Marriage Proposal EVER!
Matt Still tells his girlfriend Ginny he has to work on a Saturday and gets Ginny’s brother Charlie to take her see the Movie “Fast 5″. As the trailers begin to play, Ginny hears a familiar voice on screen. Watch the proposal that has now been seen worldwide! Matt and Ginny have made appearances on The Ellen Degeneres Show, CNN, The Today Show, Good Morning America, HSN, and many more both nationally and worldwide.
At the opening of the ‘John Lennon: The New York Years’ exhibition, Yoko Ono shares her private memories of her late husband. (May 12)
I had enjoyed watching ice-cold Nelle Porter in the television series Ally McBeal. This character was played by Portia Lee James DeGeneres (born Amanda Lee Rogers; 31 January 1973), known professionally as Portia de Rossi. I thought her extraordinarily beautiful with her shiny blond hair (which she admitted in this book contributed to her career success), seemingly untouchable, and with a zany sense of humour to match.
If my memory serves me right, I had first learned about de Rossi’s battle with anorexia (I did not know she was bulimia as well) when tabloid magazines featured her looking skeletal. I was incredulous that this magnificent woman could believe she was inadequate in any way and would resort to starving herself. Later again through the tabloids around 2004, I found out that she was now partnered with famous (now even more famous) American stand-up comedian, television host and actress, Ellen Lee DeGeneres. The couple got married in 2008 after and celebrated their 4th anniversary in October.
In this 2010 autobiography, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, de Rossi begins with a prologue of what goes on in her head each morning as she awakens, “I need to use the restroom, but I can’t get out of bed until I can remember what I ate.” It was interesting to me that the voice in her head is masculine and described as a “drill sergent”, “Since we first met when I was twelve he’s been with me, at me, barking orders.” This drill sergent would stay with her for 20 years.
De Rossi chronicles the war she waged on her body and her fluctuations in weight between 76kg and a nearly-fatal 37. The eating disorders crept up on the pre-pubescent Melbourne model when at 12, she started modelling and saw her taking up exercise, purging and laxatives with a greater passion and almost starving herself to death. I agree with the review by New York Times that this book is “written with artistry, compelling insight, and lucid frankness.” Because it was so eloquently and intelligently written, I began to wonder if she did not hire a ghost writer. She really did not need to – this is a very smart woman who dropped of law school over a more exciting career.
At the end of the book, de Rossi shared, “Just because I’d stopped starving didn’t mean I didn’t still have an eating disorder. My eating disorder felt the same to me. It took up the same space in my head, and driving around the city to find the perfect comfort foods took up as much time as driving around the city to find the tune with the lowest sodium content.” Indeed as a society we focus so much on the external that if it looks alright on the outside, it must be.
The book also addresses de Rossi’s coming to terms with her sexuality. She revealed, “It’s debilitating and a horrible thing to hide who you are. But I love acting and I feared it would be the end of my career. The studios won’t green-light something with a lesbian actress playing a mother of two. There hasn’t been a precedent for famous gay actors playing straight characters. There are many gay actors, but they don’t come out, and that makes it harder for ¬everyone because it tells people you’re ashamed of your sexuality.”
I won’t spoil the book for you except share that I am really happy that de Rossi has shared her story and is now living life fully and vibrantly.
You can find Unbearable Lightness here.
“A stark, well-written portrait of how De Rossi lost control of her life as she became consumed by her struggle for perfection and acceptance.” —Washington Post
“In prose as simply elegant—and as powerful—as a little black dress, De Rossi weaves together three themes—the impact of a loving, but lonely girlhood as the child of a single mother, the corrosive effect of constant doubts about her appearance and the internal struggle over her sexuality.” – —Los Angeles Times (5 star review)
“The blunt, pity-free matter-of-factness with which de Rossi shares secrets and lies about her eating disorders and her sexuality makes this forthright confessional story at once shocking and instructional, especially for younger women who may be secretly suffering on their own.” — Entertainment Weekly
“De Rossi’s memoir reminds us that fame and celebrity are no substitute for feeling comfortable in one’s own skin.” — Jodi Picoult
Now in paperback, the New York Times bestselling memoir from Portia de Rossi explores the truth of her long battle to overcome anorexia and bulimia—“an unusually fresh and engrossing memoir of both Hollywood and modern womanhood” ( Los Angeles Times, 5 stars).
In this groundbreaking memoir, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades, from the time she was a twelve-year-old girl working as a model in Australia, through her early rise to fame as a cast member of the hit television show Ally McBeal . All the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and concealing from herself and everyone around her the seriousness of her illness.
She describes the elaborate rituals around food that came to dominate hours of every day and explores the pivotal moments of her childhood that set her on the road to illness. She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner, ever more in control of her body and the number of calories she consumed and spent.
From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love and marrying Ellen DeGeneres and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues. In this remarkable and landmark book, she has given the world a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.
About the Author
Portia de Rossi is an Australian-born actress best known for her roles in the popular television series Ally McBeal, Arrested Development, and most recently Better Off Ted. She currently resides is Los Angeles with her wife Ellen DeGeneres. This is her first book.
Purchase Unbearable Lightness here.
Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.